Pic O' the Day: Short story short - television in the kitchen starts to display
the picture in neon green and pink, so pops (making his first appearance on The
Sidewalk) puts the television outside with a very misleading but technically
true sign on it. When I came home later in the evening, TV was gone. Somebody,
somewhere, is watching East Meets West with a neon rainbow painting the top
portion of the screen. This, folks, is what America is all about. And just now,
I'm realizing he didn't include the remote with it. This, folks, is what France
is all about.
Site News: HOLY SHIT IT'S READER MAIL TIME!
We haven't done this here on the SC yet, last time was back in the archaic days
of the DAILY, so our sack's gotten pretty full.
Sorry, no more terrible jokes. At least no more intentional bad jokes.
T. Lott from Washington, D.C. writes:
Guys, love the page, tell all the colleagues about it
except J.C., I don't think he's be too keen on it. Just a hunch though, I've
never actually talked to him. Anyway, I wanted to bounce a little dilemma I'm
having off you. The other day I was in the Nordstrom's, ya know, getting some
timely CHRISTmas (hah hah notice how I capitalized a certain part of that
last word, LOL) shopping done, and I needed to pick up a pair of socks for ol'
Strom Thurmond for his bicentennial birthday. I get to the tables of socks, and
I see a bunch of black socks, and a bunch of white socks, and I started thinking
how I'm always much more comfortable in white socks, and how black socks never
really worked with me. Then I remembered that when I was but a little root in
the balmy Mississippi summer, we'd all wear white socks. Even the businessmen,
can you believe that? And ya know what? That was the way we liked it. Then the
oddest thing happened, around 1968 or so, all of a sudden we're being told to
wear black socks, that they're just as good, and should be tried out. I
resisted, as any true southerner would. But of course a few people started
speaking positively about these things, and there was an old-fashioned commotion
a-brewin'. The town was aflutter, day and night, with discussion on this sock
matter. Being a youth, I just stood by and watched pop navigate the situation.
He was a great leader, I've learned so much from him, and I still try to
represent many of his values. Anyway, pop gets in front of the town, and gives
this speech that Ben Franklin himself would have been in awe to have heard. He
speaks about how we'd all be better off with just white socks, that since the
black socks came to town there ain't been nothin' but trouble and hubbub. A
southern Dixie, she don't need this kind of strife when trying to bring up a
family. And a southern gentleman, he's got enough trouble with the farms and the
heat to deal with these colored socks. So pop convinces the town to get rid of
the black socks, but somehow we hadn't been able to fish out a rat. A rat, boy,
a rat will do anything it wants, it doesn't care about who it hurts. This rat
tells someone up north about pop's speech, and sure enough, as if blown in from
the coast, this caravan of sirs and yes men shows up overnight demandin' we get
the black socks back in stores, as apparently we don't have no say in this
stuff. Go figure. So fast forward to Nordstrom's, here I am lookin' at these
tables of socks, and I can't help but wonder why a man can't keep these trouble-causin'
black socks out of sight where they belong. I yell out to the nearest
cashierette or whatever these women go by these days. Women, that's another
letter for another day, AM I RIGHT??? LOL!! So I yell out "can't we get rid of
these black ones? Things were much better when they weren't around!"
Now, I know you guys are busy, so you might not be keeping up on the news, but
somehow me hollerin' about the socks has got me in a whole pot of hot water up
on the hill here. Someone told me that I should resign, but I can't see what
socks has to do with politics, so I'm not gonna. My advisors tell me I need to
go on this BET, I think it's a gambling network or something, apparently I'm
going to talk about races, hopefully it's horse racing, because I'm no good when
it comes to NASCAR.
Just as long as there's no black people...
Wish me luck!
Your pal,
Trent
Trent...um...you might wanna look into this a bit,
it's...eh...
...sounds
like you've got everything under control, good luck! Oh, and tell Strom 'Happy
Bicentennial' for us!
-Andrew & Brad
More viewer mail to come in a few days, fa sho! That,
and Exacta's Dozen, my top 12 albums of 2002. It's the holiday season, and the
Sidewalk Crusaders are in the giving mood! As long as it's free!
I might be doing some pinch-hitting at the former jobsite over the holiday
break, so that could end up derailing any immediate update plans (not to mention
the tetanus shot of cold hard cash at a much-needed time). I'll still
have time for all the goodies, but they might come later than sooner. And
really, delays and unfulfilled promises are what fatherhood this site is all
about.
Local News: THIS JUST IN - white girls are still droppin' the ball.
-b!
Quote Of The Day:
(in line at Price Club on Saturday afternoon, pre-barbecue. he was about 50, and
was about 2' to my left, looking right at me. probably looking down the row of
lines for someone, or for the shortest line.)
Dre: damn, that dude was really checking you out.
Me: of course he was. look at me.
EXACTA
11.30.02 6:10 AM PERHAPS
BLOCKBUSTER'S BLIND TO THIS WHOLE UNTAPPED MARKET OF MAJOR ELECTRONICS SALES.
Pic O' the Day: That's the marvelous new 70 minutes of music known as
"Phrenology" by that South Philly squad The Roots, with a Rocket From The Crypt
ticket laying on top of it. I don't mean to get all Steve Harvey Show on you
guys, but Phrenology will definitely be in my top 12 albums of the year, which
I'll begin posting shortly like I did last year. Last year, I think I did the
whole list in under a week. With the frequency I update the page now, perhaps I
should have started this list a little before Easter. No worry though, the
impending holiday break will give me some free time to hammer through that
stuff. Not that I'm swamped with work now (collective chuckle), but it's always
a good excuse to whip out, and keeps me from getting to a lot of things.
Site Disclaimer News: In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted
that I'm listening to Phil Collins' "Serious Hits....Live" while typing this up.
That could cause adverse reactions, and, extrapolating that out to what you read
here, could cause an unusual update. Collins is, after all, the man who came up
with the word 'Sussudio,' who knows what effects listening to his music at this
hour of the day will do to me.
I'd like to take the time to give myself credit for using the word 'extrapolate'
in an update, I've always wanted to work it in but never felt like it fit.
Local News: The sleep schedule is severely fucked again, so when the sound of my
front door woke me up at about 4 PM I figured it was as good a time as any to
see who was coming home, and with what. Lo and behold, it's pops and Sharon
carrying in a new 25" Panasonic television. Like a firing squad in the 1880s, I
was being bombarded with thoughts regarding this most unusual of purchases.
Allow me to explain. First, why a television? They (with 'they' being
pops/gramps/Sharon) watch their TV in the kitchen, around the kitchen table, as
is the standard arrangement of the house, always has been. My father, channeling
the spirit of Manifest Destiny like great leaders of the past, felt he'd like a
new TV in the living room, so...ready for this? THEY CAN WATCH MOVIES. Yes,
apparently moving the VCR to the kitchen television just wasn't going to cut the
beef gravy and mashed potatoes. The TV that was in our living room at the
apartment, and has been sitting in the TV area of the entertainment center in
the living room here, is about 17 years old, if memory serves me correct. There
were some lines at the top, the screen was beginning to bend inward on the right
side, it was time for a replacement...but seriously, they never watch TV in the
living room here, yet since they rented two videos today apparently it was also
necessary they accompany that video rental with a freakin TV set. Second thought
kicked in when I was told the couch was going to be moved to the MIDDLE OF THE
ROOM so the TV could be looked at straight on. Here's the new arrangement:
Before this,
the couch was just in front of the window, and the 70s chair was over in the
corner with the stuff I can't name. Now, since pops and Sharon found it
necessary to buy a new TV (when we have two outlets in my dad's room that are
shorting out and a stove that features only one working burner...good to see the
money's being tossed around wisely) to satisfy their yearly video rental bounty,
it's a dong to get anywhere once you get the in the front door. Contrary to the
appearance in that amazing artists' conception I whipped up for you, the area
where it says "organ" is more like a Cu Chi tunnel than a hallway now that the
couch has been swung out into the middle of the room. The room, previously
having the feel of an open, airy, well-lit room, like most classy families have,
now takes on this crammed, hassle-to-maneuver feel. Worse, since everybody in
this house is deaf, the television's gotta be turned up if a single word is to
be heard. Hence, with the television (and speakers) right on the other side of
my wall, the sound bleeds through just fine. The whole reason for moving the
couch was so the television could be seen. Understandable, as you can see that
watching the TV from, essentially, where the window is at, would be an
inconvenience. My suggestion was to slide the EC toward the window, and to place
the couch against the china cabinet. That way the space of the room is
preserved, the TV can be viewed straight on, and there's still plenty of room to
navigate between the door, the living room, and the back bathroom/bedrooms
(above where 'organ' is). I had a good laugh when, later in the evening, I
noticed they'd actually turned the TV a bit to where it was aimed even more
directly at them as they sat on the couch. As you can see, with the TV on the
end of the EC, viewing it directly was still not an option. My dad responded in
a less-than-constructive manner, to which various fingers were flipped at
various people, I won't name names or exact actions, but I walked away with a
smile on my face partially from irritation and partially from knowing his 'we're
going to get a new entertainment center that'll be pushed over more, so shut
your mouth' claim was a good month or two off, knowing his delay in purchasing
anything that would be of use. Third thing to get me (yes, I remembered I'm
working off a numbered list!) was that he didn't even bother with looking for a
TV with options for good sound or anything like that down the line. James Moore,
he was not. One jack for the cable, three for the RCA, that was it. Seemed a bit
sparse. He's told me in the past that he'd buy a new TV when he needed to, and
apparently he needed to today. He wasn't going to wait for HDTV-ready prices to
go down, or even bother with looking for a flatscreen (or shelling out the cash
to pay for one), which the shrewd consumer in me doesn't exactly understand.
There are exactly two positives to come out of this...and believe me, I've been
looking for positives in this arrangement all day, as they're the only things
that will keep me from giving pops the business on the whole couch situation
well through the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. One, the TV/VCR hookup means
that I'll have a second VCR at my disposal, ending a few years of living in a
one-VCR household, using digital cable, able to tape only what I watch, and only
one thing at a time. Just the other day I figured out how to get my digital
cable to tape channel X at one time, then automatically switch to channel Y at
another time without having to be here to do it manually. The one hurdle left
was being unable to tape two things at once, but this second VCR will do the
trick. The other silver lining to this shitstorm was pops' wise decision to
purchase a TV from a company I think makes an excellent product, Panasonic. If
you're not going to go for a swank television, Panasonics are pretty solid
pieces of equipment. My Panasonic was made in October of '89, and I wish my
parents bought two of them at the time, and kept one boxed up so I could put it
to use when this one eventually eats it. Quality stuff.
Holiday News: Someone failed to tell me prime rib was so expensive. I always saw
it priced high on menus in restaurants, but for some reason I failed to put 2+2
together and realize that the hunk of PR we get for Watch The Lions Get Their
Asses Handed To Them Day was more than the
$15 most families throw down for turkeys. Quite a bit more, in fact. That said,
I'm going to force my future wife to bow to my traditional Thanksgiving whims,
and to buck the Tyranny of Turkey on this late November day. Tradition aside,
other than one person I've talked to, the rest of you have told me 'Brad, I envy
your Thanksgiving menu, it offers delights far beyond my measly Butterball +
sides fare.' I appreciate your envy, it makes me feel like I'm better than you.
And really, isn't that what the holidays are all about? So yes, in summation,
another fantastic Thanksgiving meal, with leftovers that'll be around longer
than the Wayne Brady Show.
Ah, I smell burnt popcorn, pops must be awake and using the microwave...
I say that, simply because one night he and Sharon decided to split a bag of
popped corn. Bag said '2-5 minutes, watch to prevent overheating.' Naturally, 5
minutes and a smoky kitchen later, pops admitted he just saw '5 minutes' on the
bag, and pulled a 'set it and forget it.' The insides of the microwave have what
can only be described as burn marks on them, and while when you're standing in
the kitchen using the microwave you don't smell popcorn, I can always tell from
my room when the microwave is being used, as residue or something from that
fateful night wafts into my room. That's a smell that lingers.
-b!
Quote Of The Day:
(Seen on Channel 8 News today)
lady from the zoo: and this little guy's name is (says name of this owl-looking
thing)
Graham Ledger: hah, I think I had an ex-girlfriend by that name!
DREDUB
11.26.02 1:42 AM So today I went
to the mall to do some early Christmas shopping to get it out of the way before
the hordes of stupid and retarded shoppers can pull themselves away from
whatever it is they do the rest of the year. However there is always a catch.
Lately when I have adventured to the vast forest of commerce known as the mall I
have encountered many a creature but none as annoying as the Cell Phone Whore.
No, I am not talking about the lady who is on her cell phone yapping away. The
Cell Phone Whore is far more annoying.
Located usually in a small pen they are usually in packs of 3-5. Seemingly
harmless the Phone Whore lies in wait until an unsuspecting shopper gets within
shouting distance. Once in shouting distance the Cell Phone Whore enters attack
mode and begins to harass the shopper until the shopper looks. If the shopper
makes eye contact with the whore then the process enters phase two,
interrogation. The cell phone whore will ask if the person has a phone, and if
so what is their service. Now at this point, no matter what the answer is at this
point the Cell Phone Whore will proclaim that the shoppers cell phone plan is
inferior to the one offered by the whores clan. At this point the Whore usually
is out of luck because most shopper defy their IQs and keep walking. however
those who are mentally challenged can get pulled into the whores trap of lies
and deception. The mentality of these Cell Phone Whore Ranches must be, "if they
are dumb enough to stop, they will not understand the rate structure and thus
will switch to us and go over their minutes and we will profit." Like Credit
Cards the Cell Phones are marketed to the college youth of America who can
afford to get into debt and will probably be able to work it off. The Cell Phone
Whore is the lowest level of the marketing species, possibly second only to
Telemarketers. So next time you are at the mall and you see these foul
creatures, throw something or maybe if you are in a good mood go yell at them
and tell them to switch their phone plan.
In movie news, I must retract anything bad I have ever said about Harry Potter.
I saw both films the other day and my ridicule was unwarranted. If you had the
same feelings towards Harry Potter I suggest you see the movie, it is not what
you expect. Its fun and very entertaining.
So as you can tell my pants have a nice little hole growing on the right leg. My
other pants are showing signs of holes and my shorts are either paper-thin now
or have holes in them. I have come to realize I am coming up to the end of a
clothing cycle. When I began to notice that I decided to replace the attire one
piece at a time. When I entered the store and began to look for the style that
is me, I came to the realization, clothing companies mess with perfection. I can
no longer find the pants or shorts that are like the ones I have. These new
shorts either have extra pockets or zippers in weird places and logos of the
company on them. So my advice to you the reader is this, if you find something
you like, buy a few sets and don't gain weight. You will be set for life.
My car is being a bitch, there seems to be a constant rattling coming from the
alternator.
Matinee movie tickets are $7, the terrorists have already won
Metroid Prime is the most beautiful and engrossing game of the year. suck on
that.
Anybody read this page anymore?
- Andrew
EXACTA
11.13.02 10:56 PM WITTY TITLE HERE
Pic O' The Day: Riot Act, mofos. Ed's a hypocritical moron these days, but hey,
ya can't stop the rock. Go check that stuff out.
Site News: Same old story, kids. This is turning into Highlights, what with
these once-monthly updates and all. I'd be lying if I said I've been doing
anything worth mentioning, aside from the occasional SC gathering and a concert
once every blue moon. After a blazing start out of the gate, I've fallen back
into my standard rare school appearance. Fortunately, I'm still going enough to
witness stupidity in its purest form, the unapologetically ignorant college
student. A quick note, stepping just outside a classroom with an open door
doesn't make your conversation on the phone any quieter. You might as well stay
in your seat if you're going to raise your voice once you clear the doorframe.
I've been making some notes over the last few weeks as far as what I want to
talk about, so unlike previous piles of crap that have been my updates, what
you'll get here is of some semblance and general flow.
Television News: First and foremost, Pearl Jam's going to be on The Late Show
With David Letterman this Thursday and Friday night, getting two shows
because they're just so darn special. Al Gore (our country's current president)
is the guest on the Friday show, perhaps he'll join Ed on backup vocals for "Bushleaguer."
I have my gun handy just in case. Keeping my attention Thursday nights, at 10:30
to be precise, is the strikingly amazing Trigger Happy TV, airing on Comedy
Central. This show alone has spared the British from our invasion of them for
another six months. It's a bear to actually explain, I suppose though it's
somewhat like Jackass...but not stupid, painful, uncomfortable, did I say
stupid? Yeah, I did. Smart, slick, and very dry, like most British humor is.
Much like their women are, eh? Eh? EH? Hah.
Aside to Dre: You're listening to the Doob!
Local News: Ages ago on an old D A I L Y update, I took a picture of my
callous-ridden left index finger, which was like that from drinking my standard
2-liter bottles of soda. Well, a few needless toothaches later, I've kicked that
cute little addiction, save the occasion unconscious relapse where I just pick
up a soda at a BBQ and open it, not thinking "I don't want to drink you" or
anything semi-intelligent like that. The callous is fully gone, as I've now
moved on to Gatorade. However, I've quickly found that there's a funk side
effect to drinking Gatorade that's both amusing and challenging to my way of
life and what I like to call The Iron Bladder. See, the Iron Bladder is what has
allowed me in the past to knock back unhealthy amounts of any sort of beverage,
without having to...disperse...of said beverages for a very long period of time.
I grew proud of this trait, as I was never the one to ask to stop for a pee
break on long rides, nor was I forced to interrupt activities at a bi-hourly
interval to take care of nature's call. Gatorade, however, has presented me with
a whole new challenge and dilemma. Gatorade, my friends, has salt in it. I
didn't go to Johns Hopkins, but as far as I know, salt makes ya whiz.
Frequently. Evidently, The Iron Bladder shares a weakness with every 1978 Buick
Skylark located east of the Mississippi - an aversion to salt. Since I've gotten
hooked to the 'ade (that's what it's called on the streets), I find myself
hitting up the john about once an hour, even more often on warmer days. A small
side effect, I suppose, and something I could get used to. It's just
unfortunate, however, that such an internal institution as The Iron Bladder must
fall by the wayside.
More Local News: I've never hid my enjoyment of some of Eminem's music, I think
he's got a knack for creating decent songs, his flow is solid, the beats aren't
too shabby, and it makes a good track on the whole. However, I don't see the
need to blare only his hit songs over and over while I drive. I get the whole
"playing music you like very loud" bit, I practice that myself. However, and I'm
absolutely not exaggerating here in the slightest, there were FOUR CARS today
that went down my street blaring either "8 Mile" or "Lose Yourself." Four.
Simply absurd. The number's a pinch higher than average, but usually I hear it a
good 2-3 times, different cars, different times of the day. Now, perhaps some of
my ghetto readers can answer this one...why is it that I never hear a deep album
cut being blared? It's always the hits, and it's always the same ones. Do you
hiphop people just purchase the single, then play the thing on repeat over and
over, turning it up in high traffic and residential areas in your bling'd out
Escalades and Excursions and Skylarks? Really, I want to know this, how does
this work? And don't they realize that there's about 100 cars in San Diego
probably playing the exact same track at the exact same time? Totally ruining
the pimpness of playing the hip track of the moment? Even fuckin radio doesn't
play a song this frequently. Stuff like this is what keeps me up at
night...well, this and softcore porno.
Music News: Now, to my favorite part of the update, and the one I've been the
most excited about mentioning (aside from the quote of the day). Andrew came
across a pair of choice photos of us, both from the Less Than Jake/Sugarcult/Yellowcard/Whippersnapper
show at the Scene, specifically during Yellowcard's bland set. Below are what
could be the coolest photos ever, with Andrew and I spotshadowed like on
SportsCenter.
Note the enthusiastic young'ins, all responding to the shitty band, and the
Sidewalk Crusaders performing a Gandhi-esque silent protest while conserving
energy and patiently waiting for Less Than Jake. That top picture, oh
man...folks, it really doesn't get much better than that.
Dr. Phil still sucks.
Punch Drunk Love is a strange movie. Uncomfortable, off-kilter, awkward all
around. See it if you can.
Lastly, Rob Schneider's got a new movie coming out. University of Georgia frat
guys are pumped.
-b!
Now Playing: Eminem - 8 Mile (yeah, I'm guilty of it too)
Quote Of The Day:
(Dre two weekends ago at a BBQ. We were doing a little hit n shag with some
tennis balls, with Andrew pitching, and Andrew kept making remarks like "hit the
people on the bike path, get a dollar." Then, he makes a comment regarding this
guy we didn't previously know but was a friend of a friend who was playing with
us there. This is still a pretty inside joke, and if you're from here, it'll be
much funnier, but it was hands down an immediate contender for Line Of The Year
in my book.)
"I should give him a dollar just for being named Santee."
DREDUB
11.10.02 5:10 PM I'm going
hungry, yeah!
During the this past weekend I have received little to no quality sleep. Being
my regular self I go to bed at a reasonable hour. Around 6AM Saturday the
torment began. outside my window is a fence on the other side of the fence is my
neighbors house. My neighbor is a woman who lives by herself and has a bird who
occasionally is loud. So at 6AM I hear a dog barking loudly outside my window.
It sounds a lot like my dog. So I got up and walked outside in my shorts and saw
Maggie(my dog) so I called her in. After 5 minutes of trying to get back to
sleep I hear the barking outside my window again. So I get back up and go to
drag my dog back inside when I see her sitting in the hallway so at this point I
realize that the dog is in my neighbors yard and there is now nothing I can do
to stop this beast. So I try to sleep, for 2 hours I fall in and out of sleep
with the dog barking every 5 minutes waking me back up. Finally I get out of bed
and give up. I take my shower and go about my day thinking I would be able to
work in a nap at some time. The dog however did not stop barking until around 10
at night. I notice that there is a new car in my neighbors driveway so I figure
she has a guest who brought his dog. So I end up going to bed around 1AM (after a
pathetic excuse for a Saturday Night Live) but once again 6AM rolled around an
the dog began barking again. Already not feeling great from the Italian sausage
sandwich I had for dinner the night before I decide to get up and take a long
shower. I just hope that the dog goes back to its rightful home tonight because
I am really tired of hearing it. Hopefully my neighbors visitor will not be
staying throughout the week.
I have realized I am out of touch with the kids today. I turn on the MTV or the
Radio and I just do not get it. Every band is screaming in their songs, when did
this trend start and when is it going to end? if I have to hear another
Nicklepark or Linknback song where some dude is screaming I am going to fall
even further into the mind set that music today is just not as good as it was
when I was young. I know its wrong to think that but from what I hear it seems
like a valid statement. Perhaps if you know a good band from the current
generation of bands let me know. Seriously I want to know. And I don't want to
get a suggestion of a band that has been around for years but just hasn't got
big; I am talking music from a new band.
So I turned on the VH1 the other day to see some videos, I can't watch MTV
videos because they always have some dumb broad in time square screaming over it
how she loves Saves the Day sooooo much because they are soooooo hot,
Woooooooooooooooo!!!!!(I think all MTV sentences are punctuated by this Woo) I
just can't deal with when I wanted to hear and see a music video I want to hear
and see all of it. So I press the final digit on the remote and what pops up, a
movie. VH1 has been showing movies for the last 2 weeks that I have noticed and
it is really limiting my options. MTV if a video is on it isn't without Screams.
VH1 has movies. MTV2 has been all over Eminem's nuts the last few weeks so there
is always a show about him on there. Much Music USA is okay but they have like a
5 video rotation and the channel doesn't come in completely because of the
constraints of Digital Cable. VH1 Classic is cool but if you watch 2 hours you
have seen it all pretty much. We all knew Radio sucks, why can't there just be 1
good Mass Medium.
CKY canceled their show here to go open for Guns N' Roses. Of course I didn't
find out until I rolled up to the venue with Brad and it was all dark. Axl
didn't even show up for the show though and there was a riot. It is second GNR
inspired Riot I know of. Rock on.
When did phones become cameras and computers? I am all for integrating stuff and
making things easier and more user friendly but I think that some of these new
phone are just big fat status symbols that are annoying and unnecessary. But as
long as T Mobil keeps running commercials with Catharine Zeta-Jones I won't be
starting a Jihad or anything.
If you can't hear my dads new speakers open your window.
America proved voting doesn't work.
My new work schedule has me working at 5AM, no traffic and I get home at 2:30 It
doesn't get much better than this.... actually not working for a month was a lot
better than getting up at 4AM. I need a Sugarmama.
I am sure there will be some good adventures coming up to post about. Don't
worry the Sidewalk Crusaders has not ceased operation we have just been
restructuring. You know, to avoid going to jail under new FTC laws, they are
really cracking down. Oh by the way, little known fact. The Sidewalk Crusaders
are Dot Com survivors. We didn't fade away when the bubble burst. We Rule.
Inside Joke of the week "The beats don't stop and they just don't stop"
-Andrew
DreDub
10.10.02
8:35 PM
THAT IS RIGHT BUDDY, WE ARE GOING AMPHIBIOUS.
So kids, what is new? Lots of stuff going on here. As you can see above there
was a rafting excursion the other night. Sidewalk Crusader Brian and
fellow rafter Mike joined up and we decided to go rafting down the infamous San
Diego river. Now I know what you and every other person reading this is
going to say, San Diego has a river?
the answer is yes, and its bigger than you might think. Our covert operation
started out with us unloading the raft on the side of the road with traffic
going by looking at us. Then since I scabbed a ride had to wait by the side of
the road with a 10' raft. After about 10 minutes the crew returned and we
launched the raft. We decided to go under the bridge we launched from to
see what was there only to find hundreds of spider nests. After the
initial shock we calmed down and decided to continue down the river as planed.
as we cruised down the river we saw many an interesting sight. through the trees
lining the river you can see condos and apartment complexes. further down the
river we had to get out of the raft and rag it under a bridge because the water
level under the bridge was low. so dragging the raft we ran as carefully as
possible under this bridge which no doubt also had spider nests. As we began the
second leg of our journey we came across an island in the middle of the river.
We decided to row around the island to extend our journey. As we came around the
island we made a most disturbing discovery. A floating stuffed teddy bear that
was half submerged. Now we weren't exactly ready to fire up the AMBER
alert system but we did feel as if something was amiss. Like the heroic
guys we were we paddled away from it not wanting to be involved in a possible
crime scene.After
that we docked the boat and climbed ashore and waited by the raft in front of
the best buy until Brian could bring his truck around. Still I am not sure if
this rafting the San Diego river is completely legal, so keep this on the hush
hush.
So after
recovering from our journey we made a trip up to the Magic Kingdom for a
relaxing day. We saw the whole gang up there, Mickey, Goofy, crazy Japanese
tourists, the whole package. I must say Disneyland is not something you can
knock unless you have been there recently, it ain't your daddy's Disneyland.
aside from the food there it is very affordable. The Haunted Mansion was
completely redone to be the Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted Mansion and it
was awesome. Even with Mike screaming like a little girl in my ear when the
large elevators lights go out. Mike was bummed that the canoe ride stopped at 5,
next time buddy.
Anyway as
brad said we went to IHOP this morning. After Brad bailed with the stomach
problems we drove to La Jolla where we played spot the prostitute. We saw a
young attractive Chinese lady in her early 20s sitting on a park bench with some
50 year old guy. as we were stopping there anyway we got out and walked around
the cliffs for a bit then on our way back to the car we saw her massaging his
head in her lap and we noticed the incredible small amount of clothing she was
wearing. this was not this mans daughter.... anyway as we continued on we could
tell that this young lady wasn't exactly the type of woman this guy could get on
his looks or personality alone. $o the way I figure it she is one of those mail
order brides or he went over to China and offered her a life in the US and loot
if she would pretend to be his lover. but as we were leaving I thought he might
have cancer and this was his make a wish. If it was his it wasn't a bad one.
Faith Hill
wrecked the El Rey. pass it on.
Hockey season
started yesterday... go Penguins!
FOX doesn't
come in well on my TV. That really screws me over when the Simpsons are on.
I would like
to watch the Simpsons but there is Baseball on, aren't there cable channels that
they could broadcast that on?
Vin Diesel is
the best actor of the Century........Okay maybe not.
10.10.02 2:20 PM BANDA MACHOS AND
R.C. COLA, LEADING THE WAY.
Pic O' The Day:
It's what this becomes with the
magic of computers. I can't be bothered to write neatly when I know I'm the only
one who will read it, so my writing usually ends up making a doctor's penmanship
look like what appeared on the Constitution.
Local News: (Go read my latest Minutia before you read this, for maximum
comprehension. Keep in mind, the first part of this update was written on
Monday, the 7th.) I'm back, back again, yes it's Brad, tell a friend...that's
how it goes, right? Eh, whatever. I'm pulling another Riley Gainer, getting my
bench-write on. To clear up any confusion, I'm not actually on a computer right
now, I'm enjoying the great (heavily-shaded) outdoors. After nearly becoming
comatose in the Power & Justice class before this, I had to do something to
occupy myself in this 60-minute break. Seriously, that class was horrible today,
you probably could have performed dental surgery on me, and I wouldn't have
known it, I was beyond tired. Wasn't tired before the class, not tired now, but
I'm pretty sure the people around me had a small laugh at my dozing-off ass. I
kept feeling like I was rising up off the ground, that was a feeling that kept
me semi-alert; however that feeling was also kinda cool, so I wasn't resisting
my heavy eyelids too much.
I'll continue by bitching about things in our school paper. First up, Fallfest
'02, was announced, the annual concert in RIMAC Arena for the first quarter of
the new school year. True to form, the Associated Student Union rallied up not a
"who's who" of the music world, but rather a "horrible" trio of acts sure to
leave the tons of idiots here happy until they see, once again, that 95% of all
hiphop/rap sucks muddy elephant balls live. Opening is an artist who was just
here on their own, and was also here in May 2001, Jurassic 5. They're better
than most stuff in the "urban" genre, but that's like saying R.C. Cola kicks
Tab's ass, or that over the last two decades, Banda Machos has been more
prolific than Menudo. After J5 are Christian punk favorites MxPx, which stands
for Magnified Plaid. I tend to think it stands for Make them Pay
me for having to sit through their set. Too bad Mike Halloran got fired from
92.1, he'd wet himself. So, we have the hiphop/r&b/rap spectrum, and the punk/emo/pop/rock
spectrum. What's left of course? You guessed it, more goddamn hiphop!
Blackalicious is headlining in support of his very mediocre new album "Broken
Wings," which is actually an album full of remixes of Mr. Mister's early 80's
hit jam of the same name. Okay, that's a total lie. It's actually called "Broken
Arrow," but it's still a bunch of Mr. Mister remixes. I'm short on time, so I'll
avoid going into detail on why my school has let me down yet again. Suffice it
to say, the Sidewalk Crusaders will most definitely be absent from this social
function.
Second thing, a front page article on the 10-minute passing period, and how it's
"so hard" to get from class to class. Did it not enter anyone's mind to plan
their schedule out with this prior knowledge in hand? 'Oh, I have to go from one
end of campus to the other, in 10 minutes, I'm always late!' I swear, one ounce
of fucking planning goes a mile.
--
(Two days later now, I'm outside Solis Hall room 107, about 20 minutes until I
have to go to class.) I'm still up in arms about this whole Fallfest bit. That's
neither here nor there though. Looking ahead (like all great leaders do) I'm
realizing I'm falling back into my old "never go to class" rut. I'm here now,
yes, but that's just because papers topics are being handed out, and I don't
want to bug Crystal yet again for another in-class handout. Hey, it's a start.
From here, I'll go to my one class tomorrow (after not going to it on Tuesday,
good ol' Roadrunner to thank for that one (and I didn't even go today
(Thursday), I'm such a friggin lazy-ass, but I blame last night's dinner on this
one)), and my 110EA Thinkers and Thought and Words and Books and Pretty Puppy
Dogs class for the final class of the week on Friday.
--
So, that was that. Back live and direct. Had a lovely breakfast with
Brian/Andrew/Thanh/Basic at the IHOP, we all pretty much copied each others'
orders, but that's what happens when only one menu has the insert with the best
item, and the other four people don't even see it until about 2 minutes before
the waitress takes our order. Hash browns, pancakes (or as I like to call them,
hotcakes, since they sell so well), sausage, bacon, and eggs, and I added a
glass of chocolate milk to that, kickass way to start the day. Saw porn star
Miko Lee (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), and apparently she waived toward
our table. Someone in our group's in good with her, I'll work on it and get back
to you. Maybe with hot pics. Stomach ache and time spent in 'the office' has
comprised my afternoon so far, and I do smell a nap on the horizon. These are
high times we're living in kids, breathe deep and smell the cultural
advancement. I'm out like Rosie O' Donnell's good hairstylist.
-b!
Now Playing: Foo Fighters - Win Or Lose
Quote Of The Day:
(I also have SNL on right now, so here goes...Harry Carey, played by Will
Ferrell, talking to Jeff Goldblum...)
"It's a simple question doctor, would you eat the moon if it were made of
ribs?"
